I scooped ice from the ice machine and poured it over the coffee cup. Splatters of coffee speckled my shirt. One cup after another as I kept serving them to people in church.
Tears threatened to stream down my cheek as I tucked myself back into the ice closet, I asked God if I would ever know what He wanted from me, how He would use me, and what I was supposed to do next in my life. My soul had been restless for months, anxious to move forward but not feeling the peace to step into a new area.
What I had dreamed for my life and what my life actually looked like were two different worlds. In the middle of that closet, I didn’t want a map to the next ten years, I simply wanted to be seen. Not by audiences or for the sake of attention, but by a God who loved me and would lead me forward.
I can understand the cry of Hagar’s heart and soul in Genesis 16. While Hagar and my circumstances were completely different, the cry of our hearts were the same. We want to be seen, loved and led forward. Isn’t this the heart cry of every woman?
In a world where so much is hidden, where we tuck ourselves away from others and allow people to see what we want them to see, it can be easy to think God works the same way. He doesn’t.
God sees everything.
Every sin we commit.
Every injustice done to us.
Every mistake.
Every misstep.
Every tear we cry.
While this may be a terrifying thought for some, it’s a comfort to many. The God we serve is El-Roi, the God Who Sees.
God sees the mess we make and doesn’t leave us there alone. He steps into our stories and turns our messes into messages of His grace.
God moves our hearts towards Him, even if He doesn’t change our circumstances. Hagar is called to return to her same circumstances, but when she returns she returns with the knowledge of a relationship with the God who sees her.
Friend, whatever you are doing today, whether it feels mundane and miniscule, remember God sees it.
He sees the laundry you fold over and over.
He sees the dinners you cook.
He sees the meetings you attend where you aren’t appreciated.
He sees the ways you bite your tongue to the quick remark.
He sees the tears you cry when you screw up something.
He sees the faithfulness of caring for people when you’re exhausted.
He sees the efforts and attempts.
And most importantly, God sees our hearts. He knows the motives and movings deep in our souls. He sees it all.
Hagar had the “angel of the LORD” come and bless her exactly when her heart needed refreshment and encouragement the most, and in that ice closet as I called out to God to show me that He cared, He brought me my reply as well. The very next person who ordered a coffee began to chat about his work and shared encouragement that my heart so desperately needed. Right there, doing exactly what God had called me to do behind the scenes, God whispered the same things to me that He did to Hagar. “I see you. I will bless you. Keep working where you are and trust Me with the rest.”
Girlfriend, the truth is the same today as it was thousands of years ago when Hagar ran to the wilderness, God sees. God cares. God will bless us, but we have to keep working where we are and trust the rest to Him.
On this faith journey with you!
