There’s a storm brewing in the ocean, the meteorologists are tracking and doing what they do. All the while we await their predictions, storm paths and “professional opinions” on how nature will play out over the next few days. Will we see another summer shower or possible hurricane? The maps with all their storm lines are plastered over the news and media feeds.
No one really knows anything. We never do, although we like to think we do.
It feels like a storm of sorts is brewing within me. A restlessness has overtaken my soul the last few weeks. I chalked it up to the transitions we were all facing with school and work and schedules. Turmoil can mask its self in funny ways. The human mind so capable of playing tricks to convince us we are fine, all the while our souls longing for something more. The “something more” is what frightens me. The uncharted waters of life ahead.
As I write, my house is quiet. Stillness abounds. The quiet is almost deafening. Even this morning, as my children slept and my husband left for the day I laid in bed with my thoughts and there was more noise. Yet here I sit with nothing but the hum of the critters outside my office window and the tapping of my fingers across my keyboard.
I must learn this new quiet. This new season of my life, where motherhood isn’t demanded every second of every day.
My mind is stuck on Psalms 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God.” I want so much to be busy, moving, going, doing.
I am “Martha.” I have been “Martha.” I do “Martha” well. {Luke 10:38-42}
I know those monsters and those challenges.
This call to live as “Mary,” it unnerves me. It weakens my resolve and requires more vulnerability with Him than I often feel comfortable giving. Which as I write, makes me smile, because I know how ridiculous it is.
This water ahead of me, it’s uncertain. The thoughts I wrestle with in the darkness of night that call me for more. There’s no map for what this next season of life brings. I don’t have the path cut clearly. Once again it requires more faith of me. With just a flashlight in hand to take the next step.
My comfort is knowing the Creator of the storm is the same one who commands the winds of my soul to settle.
